Rob Peters Posted February 3 Posted February 3 A joke for you. I am going to start a Joke Thread. Years ago we had a joke thread and people would add their jokes for others to read. The only stipulation is your jokes MUST be kept CLEAN.... just plain clean fun. So if you come across a funny joke that keeps with our posting standards please post it here. rob Here is my joke: EULOGY FROM A WIFE AT HER HUSBANDS FUNERAL “Norman needed a blood transfusion, but his blood type was not on record, so the doctors asked me if I knew what it was. They urgently needed to know, to save Norman’s life.” “Tragically, I had never known his blood type so I only had time to hold his hand and say goodbye. I’ll never forget how supportive my Norman was. Even as he was fading away, he kept on whispering to me, ‘Be Positive my dear, Be Positive!’ “That was my Norman! Always thinking of others.” 2 13 Quote
Callie Anne Posted February 3 Posted February 3 Well, my joke telling is almost as bad as my singing ("almost" lol!), but here's a little "mom joke" meme I thought I'd share. I showed my boys, and they all shook their heads at me... ((sighs))... 1 8 Quote
Michael Boyte Posted February 4 Posted February 4 My grandfather was in a local nursing home and our preacher had promised us that he was going by to visit him this past week, He did so Saturday afternoon, he said that he was running late and passed by the nursing home and remembered that he had promised to visit this week, he turned around and went back to visit my grandfather, the preacher said that he was really hungry having not eaten lunch and he noticed a bowl of nuts sitting on the table beside of my grandfather , he started eating a few and before he left, he had finished them off. Our preacher then noticed what he had done and proceeded to apologize, my grandfather assured him that it was fine after all he had already sucked the candy off of those !! 2 8 Quote
Scott S. Posted February 4 Posted February 4 22 hours ago, Callie Anne said: Well, my joke telling is almost as bad as my singing ("almost" lol!), but here's a little "mom joke" meme I thought I'd share. I showed my boys, and they all shook their heads at me... ((sighs))... Considering what passes for "singing" these days, your's can be that bad. 8 Quote
jft69z Posted February 4 Posted February 4 15 minutes ago, Scott S. said: Considering what passes for "singing" these days, your's can be that bad. Yeah, look who they gave the country album award to this year... 3 1 Quote
Scott S. Posted February 4 Posted February 4 7 minutes ago, jft69z said: Yeah, look who they gave the country album award to this year... Well, if you can't win in your field..... Try playing in someone else's. 2 2 Quote
kpcsgasp Posted February 5 Posted February 5 I seem to only get sick on weekdays.....I must have a weekend immune system this morning, Siri said "Don't call me Shirley." I accidently left my phone in Airplane mode. What's Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1. 1 6 Quote
Dtret Posted February 5 Posted February 5 The other day my son asked me if trees poop. Bewildered I answered “ where do you think # 2 pencils come from”. 1 4 2 Quote
jft69z Posted February 5 Posted February 5 16 hours ago, Scott S. said: Well, if you can't win in your field..... Try playing in someone else's. 2 2 1 Quote
Scott S. Posted February 5 Posted February 5 8 hours ago, jft69z said: That's even better than Jethro Tull winning "Best Heavy Metal Band" !!! Quote
Callie Anne Posted February 7 Posted February 7 On 2/4/2025 at 3:59 PM, jft69z said: Yeah, look who they gave the country album award to this year... I just had to look that up. "Nooooo......" I was afraid that album would win. 😞 Sadly, I guess no one pays attention to lyrics anymore... 2 Quote
jft69z Posted February 7 Posted February 7 1 hour ago, Callie Anne said: I just had to look that up. "Nooooo......" I was afraid that album would win. 😞 Sadly, I guess no one pays attention to lyrics anymore... Or the fact she's less 'Country' than me, lol 3 1 Quote
cbolt Posted February 7 Posted February 7 A man was desperate for a job and finally found an unusual one at the zoo. The gorilla had passed away, and they needed someone to dress up in a gorilla costume until they could get a new one. The man reluctantly agreed. The next day, he put on the gorilla costume and went into the enclosure. He was nervous at first, but as the crowd started to gather he started to embrace the role, beating his chest and swinging around. A few days went by and the man was very much enjoying his job, getting bolder and bolder swinging on the vines. One day while swinging on the vines he accidentally flew over the fence into the lion enclosure. Terrified, he backed up into a corner as the lion slowly approached him. With the lion getting closer and closer, the man could no longer take it and began screaming "HELP! HELP" The lion suddenly stopped, leaned in close and whispered "shut up you idiot, you'll get us both fired" 1 10 Quote
Scott S. Posted February 9 Posted February 9 for those of us who've had "aftermarket" parts installed. Thumbs.db 1 5 Quote
Leghome Posted February 12 Posted February 12 Better get your tickets for the Amish Lottery it is up to four dozen eggs 1 4 Quote
kpcsgasp Posted February 13 Posted February 13 4 hours ago, Leghome said: Better get your tickets for the Amish Lottery it is up to four dozen eggs If you own chickens, then you're printing your own tickets! 4 Quote
Scott S. Posted February 13 Posted February 13 Ah.... To be Canadian..... Safeway's price on eggs today is $5.99 (cdn) for a carton of 18. Complements brand, of course. 2 Quote
420ponies Posted February 13 Posted February 13 I heard this the other day "Why, I don't think my husband is having an affair, if he was, I'd have to plan it for him , and remind him to go". 😆😆 5 Quote
cny first gen 71 Posted February 13 Posted February 13 1 hour ago, Scott S. said: Ah.... To be Canadian..... Safeway's price on eggs today is $5.99 (cdn) for a carton of 18. Complements brand, of course. They are over $5.00 a dozen here now and rising. We'll see how high they go. 1 Quote
420ponies Posted February 14 Posted February 14 Wasn't Carroll Shelby a chicken farmer? That man sure knew some stuff. I saw a 18 pack for $12 at Wal-Mart. 1 Quote
cny first gen 71 Posted February 14 Posted February 14 12 pack 18 pack are we talking eggs or beer 🍺 😅 2 4 Quote
willie Posted February 14 Posted February 14 LOL i thought eggs but there is a point to be made as i wasn't specific!! LOL What does a 6 pack of beer cost? 2 1 Quote
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