The Count Of Monte Carla *LONG POST*

[Carla's King]

This is my first post in these forums and I’d like to tell you guys the story of my beautiful 1970 Monte Carla. If you don’t feel like reading the full length Harry Potter Equivalent Story you can hit Ctrl+F (CMD+F for Mac) then type *HELP* in the box and it'll put you down to the section where i am asking for help and advice. Thank you.

 

I worked for a ruthless, angry, but very wealthy man that for the telling of this story we will refer to as Mr. A. Well Mr. A, had instructed me to take a cab ride from Hollywood California, to Pomona California, to pick up this utterly gorgeous 1970 Monte Carlo with a white body and black top. The interior was decent and it had a nice 350 sb under the enormous hood. Although I am a mere 21 years of age, I love and adore classics, from music, and movies, to cars and trucks, any music younger than 20 years old, are too old for me. I frequently listen to Bon Jovi, Aerosmith, Franky Lymon and The Teenagers, among others but need be I digress. I paid the owner the agreed upon $3,000 for her and set upon my journey. Remaining open minded about the car and remembering that she was not mine to keep, but to fix. I nitpicked everything, from the glove compartment that wouldn’t close, the dash that was falling apart and cracked, the ugly repair job on the top passenger side of the front windshield that had been done 20 years ago, everything. But as each mile passed by, my heart fell more and more in love with her, the roar of her turndown flow masters as we went through tunnels. The get up and go of the engine as I passed by tuners with the least bit of difficulty. By the time I finished my Pomona, to Sylmar, trek, I knew one thing for certain… I was in love…

 

But unfortunately, Carla as I came to call her was not mine, but my bosses, and she was only in my possession till I finished the body work and modifications on her. Carla did not like this, and told me this frequently. Carla unlike most NEW cars with BRAINS does not have a computer controlling her every emotion and action. She is not a robot, but a person in metal form, for us as human beings are a miracle in the sense that we function the way that we do. 1 large enough shock of electricity can through our whole bodies rhythm pattern off and essentially kill us. Same thing goes for these amazing old cars. It is 1 jolt of electricity that ignites and functions the whole engine. It is a miracle that every piston, crank, valve, and barrel operate in perfect unison to bring to life these monsters that we control and drive daily. It amazed me, infatuated me, she became my addiction.

 

To cut an even longer story short, after a LONG, 2 months, I went through the old 350, began a lot of work on her, cussed out my boss, and as a token of his appreciation to me, he gave me Carla. She was mine, all mine. I took off from his house like a bat out of hell. I hit the dirt road leading to the freeway and had to cool myself down. Carla was fishtailing like a supra on a drift track. Till finally I hit pavement again and ripped her off the shoulder. Started at 25, up to 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, my foot was pegged to the firewall and she loved it, a young kid and his car, 120+ mph on the 58 freeway. Her exhaust gaskets blew, but she still tore past the random 18 wheelers and family vans heading to Vegas for the weekend. I knew that I had found my girl, nothing could stop us, nothing would hurt us, not my mother, my fiancée, my sisters, nothing could keep us apart…

 

A few weeks later, my mother and I got into an argument over my sister, Carla hadn’t felt too good, she needed to get her carb rebuilt and tuned. But I ran out of the house, jumped in the driver seat and she cranked over without a single second of hesitation. I through her in reverse as my mother swung haymakers in through my window; I dragged my mom all the way into the street, then through Carla in drive and floored it. Her big fat rear tires screamed with anger towards my mother then finally took off, fishtailing around the left turn off my street. I looked in my rear view and saw a cloud of smoked completely encasing my house. And that was the last time I saw my home, in my rear view. Though she held it together all the way to my friend’s house, I knew she had used her last bit of strength on that run. Her camshaft had gone flat, both of my exhaust gaskets had been torn apart, and all the heads had warped or cracked. She had given me her last run, and she gave it to me, to get away from the evil women I called MOM.

 

She sat underneath a cumquat tree, heartbroken, and lonely, for 2 weeks as she had her internals worked on. A brand new 350 small block, bored and stroke .060 with larger forged pistons, an aggressive camshaft, and new everything else awaited her beautiful body.

 

I cleared off the droppings from the tree, as well as the leaves and dirt that had gathered upon her, and attached her to the back of my friends tow. She lugged her way into the shop, and it was there she would rest for another week before fully assembled again. A long, long week, had passed, every day I would look out of my window, only to see an empty car spot. Every time I thought I heard the rumble of flow masters I ran out front thinking it was her being driven to me. But low and behold it wasn’t, I literally loathed around like a love sick puppy dog, waiting for his master.

 

Then FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY, she arrived, I could hear her loud rumble from half a block away, I ran across the house, jumped down the 7 set of stairs and darted across the grass and into the street. There she was, coming down the block sounding like a drag car idling before takeoff. Re-United once again, I promised her I’d never let her go, ever.

 

And so until next time, we shall end the story here, but there is so much more to be told on this never ending story of The Count of Monte Carla.

 

*HELP*

 

So now that I have her, in my hands again, she constantly reminds of the work that she needs done. She will be one of a kind. From the front bumper, to the back end, unique in seemingly superfluous ways, here is the list of the modifications that I have done, and follows is a list of modifications that I’d like to do.

 

*Have Been Done*

 

So far I installed an aftermarket 7inch touch screen clarion double din radio that will be modified to fit in the dash. 4 sets of 6.5inch Rockford Fosgate component speakers. x2 15inch T1 Fosgate Subwoofers, with a 2x 3inch tube ported box into the cab from the trunk. I’ve begun custom body shaping on the roof of Carla, as well as a 4inch Cowl Induction hood scoop, but I did not realize till recently that the hood is bent and cannot be repaired so it must be replaced.

 

*Have Not Been Done*

 

Some of the modifications that I’d like to do are as follows.

 

I like to round up the rear bumper to look more like the 70 Nova’s and Chevelle’s, as well as round out the whole rear end of the car, essentially from the rear window, back. Also I’d like to replace the single dome headlights with the 70 Chevelle, or the 70 Camino dual beam headlights.

 

99% of the trimming will be removed from her body or blended/painted over. She’s mean and scary, and I would like to make her outside appearance resemble it as well.

 

I’d like to replace the dash gauges with some aftermarket more modern gauges. More specifically, the Glowshift Tinted 7 Color Gauge series. The gauges I would like in her are as follows.

 

Speedometer, Tachometer, Fuel Level, Fuel Pressure, Temperature, and Voltage

 

Another problem I have is that I would like to upgrade the suspension with something that handles a bit better on curves, hence the purpose (aside from fuel economy) for the 350, and not 454. I know there is no replacement for displacement, but there is no replacement for handling through mountains, and being able to maneuver your car through LA traffic.

 

I’d like to replace the aesthetic cowl on my hood with possibly a full aftermarket cowl induction hood; fiberglass or steel does not matter to me as long as it is functioning. But here is my next question, where would I find an air filter cover that has the inserts for cold air induction systems?

 

Those are my initial worries among other minor things. And if I could begin getting assistance from some of you other amazing modders/restorers I think that would be amazing. But with so many things that need to be done, I do not know where to begin. I have set aside for my Carla 1000-2000$ a month for the next year or so and I hope that by the time she is complete, I could pay for a full membership here, and drive her to one of your club meets and show her off in all her glory.

 

Thank you for all of your help in advance

[Monteman1971]

Welcome Mike,

 

That's a heck of a story you have there and an ambitious plan for your Monte......good luck with all of it.

 

As far as your question about the air cleaner, you can fabricate something from a Chevelle cowl induction hood or there are plenty of cold air kits on the market.

 

I've had a few years working on Monte's so check my web site if your looking for some ideas.

 

 

Steve

[monte70car]

Mike there is alot of options on the market. Suspension I would say upgrade to a Hotchkis system, adjustable rear suspension will help out along with lowering springs. The whole big block vs small block thing is just a personnel choice as there is enough small blocks that can out do a big block. As for the gauge choice I spent a little over $900 for this setup it has a volt gauge in place of the stock style amp gauge, tach is like the org. but displays information about 1/4 mile time top speed and other items, then you have a stock style speedo which like the tach has a display for trip meter, engine hours, and other items, next gauge is a fuel gauge again it has a display for the clock and other needs, then you have a water temp and oil PSI in the dash. I see you have plans to modify the body and you want a fully functional cowl induction hood I would say spend the money and build the hood you want. I've seen Steve's Monte in person along with another member who used a steel cowl induction scoop on their Monte's but look good, but I personnel like the Chevelle zl2 cowl induction hood . That style hood has an outer door which is more for looks but there is an inner door which pulls cold air in from the base of the window and the air cleaner seals up against the under side of the hood . Not many have seen my hood in person but those that have, have fall in love with it and like the look.

[Carla's King]

Monte70 that's the exact style hood I want for Carla, and thank you both for your replies. Monteman it has been a hell of a ride thus far and believe me its been nothing less than amazing. Monte70, I love you gauges but they seem too "stock" for me, I love the functionality of them all but that part of the dash I need to redo completely to fit all the gadgets I'm putting in. Do you know if there is a way to convert the analog gauges to digital input? And also where might I find one of those cowl hoods? And what's the price on them look like? If really high, do you know of anyone trying to get rid of one that would fit a 70 monte?

[monte70car]

The hood in my picture was made using a 70-72 Chevelle or El Camino hood where the front nose was cut off and the Monte nose was welded in place. As for my gauges don't let the semi stock look fool you. Here is the stock style dash the dash in my first post is control by this box which is all part of Dakota Digital's vhx http://www.dakotadigital.com/index.cfm/p...prod/prd803.htm most of what you need can be have with that system. Right now I have a trans temp sensor in the trans which is display in the display on the tach. I've also had the fuel PSI, oil PSI, and volt display in the tach as well. The Chevelle hood you can pick up at the parts houses like ss396.com for $600 http://www.ss396.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Sc...egory_Code=HOOD then another $140 or so for the air cleaner. Here is all the pictures of the making of the hood http://s274.photobucket.com/albums/jj278/monte70car/hood/

[Carla's King]

@monte70 guess I'm going to have to relearn how to weld. And weld correctly :-P your gauge cluster looks pretty bad @ss, but my only arguement is the 3 large 3in gauges, I don't like the look or feel. I have a mock up of what my gauge cluster will look like when finished, but now I question whether or not that dakota "main hub" thing would work with glowshift gauges. I apologize if I seem stuck in my ways but I spent about $500 on those gauges, and would like to put them to good use.

[cny first gen 71]

Wow that is a long post, and no I didnt read it all. Welcome to the site and good luck with your car. We love to help other people spend there money so just ask. Oh yea we love pictures too so show us what you got. And again

[Carla's King]

@cny well your in luck, yesterday afternoon I found out my gas tank had been welded previously, and the seals on the weld had begun corroding and rusted through so I had a 3 drops per second leak. Estimated 1/2 gallon per hour leak of the 91 premium gas and 108 octane booster that cost me a total of 130$ to fill her up with. (Had a street race that I was going to yesterday but ended up postponing due to "difficulties")

 

So your in luck, whilst broken down on the 14 north freeway 20 minutes before Mojave, my fiancee and I decided to have some fun and did a small side of the freeway photoshoot. Here's my favorite photo.

 

 

The two most wonderful women in my life... Not to take another crack at that gas tank. I got her siphoned out, the 7 gallons of cheap @ss Fastrip gas that I needed to get her back to my fiancees. But gas non the less.

 

I tried a few different methods yesterday but with a full tank of 108+octane gas, nothing would bond or cure. Tried j-b stik weld, gas tank repair epoxy, 2 part silicone (gas safe) epoxy, as well as ivory bar soap?

 

Any tips on good places for replacement tanks? I'd like a 20 gallon cause right now I only have 17. I'm getting about 20 mpg when I'm babying her, and if I had 20 gallons I could get from my fiancees and back 2x on one tank.

 

Thank you all for your warm welcomes.

[monte70car]

For your gas tank I would hit up the aftermarket parts houses or even try a auto parts store. I know a 1970 gas tank is 20 gallons I'm not sure if it will work for a 71 Monte but it should.

[Carla's King]

Actually carla is a 70 monte carlo the gas tanks I've seen are averaging about 170-200$ if possible I'd love if I could find one around the 100-150 range. The fiancee and I are saving up for this really nice 3 bed 2 bath 4000sq ft property so car expenses are on the bottom of our necessities list.